On an afternoon walk, I came across some old friends that I haven’t seen in a very long time. It’s always great to see people and catch up with what is happening in their lives. They had asked me how things were going and about my family. As I was walking away I reflected upon how I responded to their questions. I realized how negative and unhappy I made things sound. It occurred to me that I have been telling myself so many negative things that I had created a situation in my life where I was living the negativity. I have been drinking my own poison of negative words, thoughts and, oh my god, speaking it all too. In this week’s blog I thought I would explore how we manifest negativity in our lives.
We are so conditioned to have critical mind, analyzing, judging and critiquing every aspect of our life. Throughout school and all stages of our development we are raised to make judgements about what is good or bad. Fitting in is good, standing out is bad and if you are going to stand out make sure its way out there to gain shock value. We are encouraged to be achievers in terms of our grades and career goals. When we enter the workforce, we are further conditioned to perform, achieve and fit in. Throughout each stage of our life, we are constantly making commentary to ourselves about ourselves. “I look good or I look bad, I fit in or I am an outcast, I am smart or I am slow.” All of the negative things we tell ourselves is like drinking poison, our own poisonous thoughts about how we should be other than how we are. Perhaps this is a contributing factor to the level of depression and anxiety in the world today.
We not only criticize ourselves but others as well. The people in our lives, whether that be friends, acquaintances or colleagues, are often treated with the same type of internal commentary. Our inner dialogue about others in some cases can be more harsh than the words we us to describe ourselves. At times we even seek outr consensus from friends or colleagues to validate our own negativity towards others. At the end of the day, the negative words and thoughts we have about others only hurt us. Our poisonous negative thoughts harm us not the other person. It is us who bear the brunt of our words, thoughts and actions.
A sure sign that you have been drinking the poison of your own negative words and thoughts is the manifestation of negative situation(s) in your life. Each moment in our life is the culmination of all the previous moments leading up to this point in time. If negativity is present, than we need to look back at the things we have been telling ourselves along the way. In my conversation with my friends, I could hear and feel the words that I was using to describe a situation in my life. I didn’t feel good about saying what I was saying and I felt even worse when I realized how I was choosing to describe things. I began to think about how I could shift my thoughts. I considered how I could use more empowering words and thoughts that would serve me better rather than continue the negative spiral.
So how do we see things from a positive, empowering perspective rather than from negativity and still be truthful about what is happening? Our sense of reality is based upon our perceptions, nothing more. We see the world as solid and dense but this is only due to the contraction and densification of consciousness. With different eyes, we would see the world differently. Bees see things differently than we do. Snakes us heat sensory to aid their vision and whales use sound waves as well as sight to see in their world. We should not believe everything we see nor should we believe everything we tell ourselves. In fact, we should probably forget everything we tell ourselves and only listen to those things we choose to plant into our consciousness. But I have digressed, back to the how…
Here are some points to consider as to how to focus upon positive thoughts and those things you want in life.
- Being aware in every moment is the starting point to creating what you want.
- Not causing harm to oneself or others. Be aware of harsh criticisms of self and others, choosing not to indulge or proliferate them.
- Loving kindness towards all sentient beings. Treating all living things, including ourselves, with loving kindness and compassion.
- Focus upon what you want and not what you don’t want. Regardless of what you focus on you will manifest so why not create what you want with positivity.
- Take ownership of your creations. Your words, thoughts and actions have brought you to this point in time. But, as Pema Chodron would say, the future is wide open.
In this moment, think about a situation you feel negative towards. What are the words and thoughts you are telling yourself about this situation? What words could you use to change how you are viewing things? Since you have created this situation, what can you do to create it differently? Are you treating yourself or others with loving kindness?
I look forward to hearing your discoveries.